We still have a long way to go here. We’ll be learning language for quite some time…it just may not be this one depending on where we go next. I’ve really been struggling lately with the thought: Can God really use me?! I know He can and will since He got us to this point. Lately, I feel like I’ve really been struck by my own immaturity and how far I still have to go. There have been challenging situations we’ve heard about just since we’ve been here that different coworkers are dealing with and it begs the question: Do I trust God? Part of it is our youthfulness that adds to my thinking and part of it is my own non-rose-colored view of my own failings and character flaws. I feel utterly inadequate. I know then my focus is not where it should be. I should be focused on God and His power to work in my life. I have a constant feeling that God’s purpose right now is to do a much bigger work in me than He has planned for any people we might potentially minister to because let me tell you…there is a ton of work to be done in my heart still. However, I was encouraged by this word in Psalm at church recently:
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your
works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place; when I was woven together in the depths of
the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were
written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139: 13-18